


Double Doctor

by skywalkersamidala



Category: I Medici | Medici: Masters of Florence (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Doctor/Patient, Humor, M/M, One Shot, besides you KNOW nothing would get too unethical with dr. orsini around, i know that's a huge no irl but this is just a silly lil fic, no funny business on her watch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27456067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywalkersamidala/pseuds/skywalkersamidala
Summary: Francesco's normal day at work gets upended by a concussed and extremely flirty patient who's a bit too fond of bad puns.
Relationships: Lorenzo "Il Magnifico" de' Medici/Francesco de' Pazzi
Comments: 26
Kudos: 46





	Double Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> As soon as I saw this post my mind just zoomed into overdrive with all the pun potential: https://olivia-y113.tumblr.com/post/633573108191838208/in-another-life-the-pazzi-finally-became-a

Francesco flipped to his next chart and scanned through it as they lingered outside the door to the patient’s room. “Twenty-six-year-old male, possible concussion,” he read to Novella. “Should be straightforward.”

“Great,” she said. “After you.”

Francesco led the way into the room and Novella shut the door behind them. “Good afternoon, Lorenzo,” he said with another glance at the chart. “I’m Dr. Pazzi, and this is my intern Dr. Foscari.”

The room had two occupants, one man in the bed and a second in a chair next to it. “Oh, finally, some doctors,” the second man said, making Francesco hate him instantly.

He did his best to force—not a smile, that was too much for him, but a neutral expression instead of a scowl. “Sorry for the wait.”

“That’s all right!” Lorenzo said cheerfully. “We already have two doctors in here anyway.”

He laughed, and the blond man groaned and rolled his eyes. “Oh, do you?” Francesco said to humor him while mentally thinking that this concussion must be more serious than the chart made it sound.

“Yep! Doesn’t it say so on your little chart?” Lorenzo pointed at it. “Lorenzo of the doctors!”

Francesco looked down at the chart again and saw that his full name was indeed Lorenzo de’ Medici. Once the pun registered, he heaved a very deep sigh (Novella laughed, though, because she had a terrible sense of humor). God, he couldn’t wait until his shift was over in a few hours.

He didn’t dignify the atrocious pun with a response and instead wordlessly crossed the room to Lorenzo’s bedside. Lorenzo looked up at him curiously, and—oh, fuck, he was gorgeous now that Francesco was seeing him properly. Like, supermodel gorgeous. The-most-inhumanly-beautiful-person-Francesco-had-ever-seen-in-real-life gorgeous.

But Francesco was a professional, dammit, so he quickly pulled himself together. “It says here that you believe you might have a concussion,” he said. “What happened?”

“We were playing soccer and I kicked the ball into his head,” the blond man said. He looked a little smug. “It was a pretty hard impact, I’ve got a powerful kick.”

_And a powerful ego,_ Francesco thought snarkily, but he didn’t say it aloud because he was a professional. “Hey,” Lorenzo said suddenly, still gazing up at Francesco. “If we got married and you took my name, then you’d be a double doctor! That would be pretty cool.”

Now, Francesco was a professional, and he’d treated plenty of attractive patients before without even noticing their attractiveness, let alone being affected by it. But this was his first time being proposed to by one and God help him, he did blush a little as the blond man burst out laughing and Novella coughed loudly in a poor attempt to disguise her own laughter.

“Do you use that line on all your doctors?” Francesco managed, trying for a light, joking tone. Didn’t really work, seeing as “light and joking” was the polar opposite of his natural demeanor.

“Just the hot ones,” Lorenzo said with a wink, and now Francesco was full-on _flustered_ (and the blond man was laughing even louder and Novella was barely holding it together).

“You know what, I actually have to go and…check something,” Francesco said, slowly backing away. “If you wouldn’t mind waiting a few more minutes.”

“Oh, sure, we have all day,” the blond man said sarcastically.

“I would wait for you forever,” Lorenzo informed Francesco, without even a hint of sarcasm.

Francesco cleared his throat. “Uh, thanks for your patience.”

“Well, I _am_ a patient.” Francesco couldn’t believe he was attracted to this man. “Wait! What’s your name?” Lorenzo asked as he reached the door. “In case I need you. I can’t just ask them to send me the hot doctor.”

Just when Francesco’s face had started to cool down. “I told you my name when we got here. Do you not remember?” he said. “Memory issues could indicate a more serious concussion…”

“No, I didn’t forget it, I just never heard it in the first place ’cause I was too distracted by your face to actually listen to what you were saying,” Lorenzo said matter-of-factly.

“Um. Pazzi. Dr. Francesco. I-I mean, Dr. Pazzi, but my first name is Francesco,” Francesco stammered. “Well, not that you’d need to know that since there isn’t another Dr. Pazzi here. But if it comes up.”

“Francesco Pazzi…” Lorenzo said thoughtfully. Then he grinned. “I guess you could say I’m _crazy”_ — _pazzo_ — “for you.”

Novella had to step out of the room before she lost it entirely. Francesco was still blushing, but he heaved another and even deeper sigh at this third pun that was totally original and not something he’d ever heard before, it wasn’t like he’d lived thirty years with a name meaning _crazy_ or anything.

“Does he normally tell this many awful puns, or is this a concussion talking?” he asked.

“Usually not this many and not this bad. But the shameless flirting is totally normal and a sign that he’s feeling like himself,” the blond man told him.

Right on cue, Lorenzo said, “I still think Dr. Medici would be a better name, if you’re interested.”

Francesco mumbled a goodbye and all but ran out of there. He found Novella at the far end of the hallway talking to Clarice through fits of laughter.

“Clarice,” Francesco said, hurrying towards her. “Clarice, I _need_ you to take that patient for me.”

“Why?” Clarice said. “Novella hasn’t managed to string two coherent words together yet about what happened in there.”

Francesco coughed. “I, um, I just think that for the sake of ensuring him a completely professional and ethical experience, it would be best if he was treated by another doctor.”

“Translation: Francesco wants to jump his bones,” Novella said, smirking at him.

“I do not!”

Clarice looked scandalized. “Francesco! That is extremely unprofessional and unethical!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, did you not hear what I just said?” Francesco said impatiently. “Besides, nothing even happened. He kept flirting with me—which, might I add, shouldn’t even be taken at face value since he’s probably concussed—but I just ignored it, _obviously,_ I don’t _want_ to get fired.”

“Oh, she’s so gonna snitch,” Novella said with a grin at Clarice’s continuing expression of disapproval.

“Well, it sounds like there’s nothing _to_ snitch,” Clarice admitted grudgingly. “And I’ll take him off your hands so that it remains that way. The last thing we need is an ethics hearing, or heaven forbid a _lawsuit_ …”

She took Lorenzo’s chart and went towards his room, shaking her head. “So, now you can ask him out,” Novella said.

“No way! Not until he’s been discharged at the _very_ least,” Francesco protested. “And just to be safe, I should never ask him out, ever, even if I ran into him on the street ten years from now, because…”

Francesco embarked on a hospital ethics lecture so boring and long-winded that he hoped he was getting sufficient revenge for Novella making fun of him. “Okay,” she said when he was done. “But you were only in there for sixty seconds and all you did was ask how he got a concussion. Hardly a significant doctor-patient relationship.”

“True, which is why I said I _shouldn’t_ ask him out,” Francesco said. “Not that I _won’t.”_

“Nice.” Novella held her hand up for a high-five, but Francesco just gave her an unimpressed look and turned to lead the way to their next patient.

* * *

Francesco did, at least, restrain himself enough to wait a few months before sending Lorenzo a very awkward text asking if he wanted to grab coffee sometime. (Lorenzo—reportedly heartbroken at the change in doctor—had given his number to Clarice to give to Francesco, and Clarice insisted she never would’ve participated in something so unethical if Lorenzo hadn’t declared that his emotional health depended on it.)

Just when Francesco was thinking that Lorenzo surely didn’t even remember him, or that he’d only been into him at the time because he was concussed, his phone buzzed. _HOT DOCTOR!!!! HI!!!!!!_

Immediately followed by a second message: _You know, when I told you I’d wait for you forever, I didn’t think you’d take it so literally._

_I’m already regretting this,_ Francesco replied, but he was smiling.


End file.
